We mothers know it too well: The child and the family always come first. We are able to recognize the needs and worries of our loved ones before they are expressed #momskill. However, this “skill” does not apply to ourselves because we too often put our own needs in the background, even though they unmistakably cry out for attention. This leads to the fact that we often feel exhausted and unbalanced – you lack the energy for self-care and balance as your role of mother.
Mothers also need space for themselves to connect with their other roles and to develop. You need air to breathe a sigh of relief when motherhood holds its breath. You need an island to recharge.
The role of the mother demands a lot from those who wear it and is also framed by the oppressive, social image of the mother:
“A good mother is a person who is always self-sacrificing. She takes care of everything and everyone, just not herself. Because the family and everything around it, are what defines and fulfill her. She isn’t allowed to be tired. She isn’t allowed to complain. She is always strong and happy. She shouldn’t trust herself even more, but instead shine in other areas. Her story begins and ends with the onset of motherhood. Who she was or wanted to be fades in a Veil of the past. “
The role of the mother: It wasn’t like that before, and especially not today. Not only. She is more. A mother can, may and should, if she wants to, be more – before and especially now. I don’t want to say that we shouldn’t be and feel all this, but that we, especially nowadays, detach ourselves from this image of the mother and thus do not lose ourselves in our motherhood.
You can dear mother. You should even pay attention to the needs of yourself in order to blossom in your motherhood and to learn from her, because she too belongs to yourself.
When you are balanced and satisfied within yourself, only then you’ll be able to feel the beauty and driving energy of motherhood to nourish yourself and your soul from it. Only then moments of your motherhood can become an island to recharge.
Well, I’ll tell you my three “Mama essentials,” that ground me and help me to not miss my own voice in my motherhood.
֍ Selfcare routines
Self-care is so much and can be practiced in different ways. Self-care means paying attention to yourself – internally and externally – and doing something good for yourself in order to maintain and increase your own well-being. This does not always take a lot of time and effort.
Find something that you can integrate well into your everyday motherhood. Maybe a short yoga session in the morning or in the evening to welcome or end the day. A conscious “get ready”, accompanied by music and affirmations or ,“journaling” to capture and sort your feelings and thoughts, to let them go in everyday life and to have space for new things.
If you are aware of your own condition, you can adjust your daily life accordingly, as far as possible, and treat yourself with consideration. “Journaling” is also suitable as a way to end the day, to note events or to say goodbye to the day and leave it behind. I also enjoy reading one of my favorite books with a nice cup of tea or just listening to my favorite song.
Self-care routines can also look completely different. Find the one that’s right for you, from which you can draw energy and relaxation and build it into your day as an integral part.
֍ Share yourself, dear mom
It is very important for our children that they have space for their different emotions in order to be able to accept and grasp them. In this way they can recognize and name their needs, among other things, in order to develop themselves.
It is also important for mothers to share, take space and signal when they need breaks and, above all, support. The role model function is not in the foreground here, but rather making the mother visible as a whole. As an equally exhausted, demanding and independent person in the family system. Make yourself and your needs visible, so you won’t lose sight of them either.
Allow your other roles to exist alongside your motherhood so that they can coexist and become one.
Motherhood is intuition. Today we often forget and unlearn to listen to our intuition. In my opinion, it is especially important in motherhood to rekindle this connection to oneself. Because you fill your motherhood with what you are, think and feel. You play an important role here and should therefore take up space.
So dear mom, you as a whole are important. You belong to your motherhood and your motherhood to yourself. It is a small challenge to bring this into balance and sometimes we have to give priority to motherhood, but we don’t have to give up and always just sacrifice and give, we can and should also demand and take.
From mother to mother
Sandra is a passionate social worker and blogger. She describes herself as profound, chaotic-structured and humorous.
Most of all she likes to spend time with her family and friends, with whom she feels at most alive. At the same time she loves to have time for herself, because it grounds her and brings back her energy.
Sandra loves almost everything sweet and baked. Currently, she could get into spaghetti in avocado pesto, preferably with a little chili on top. On her channels Sandra blogs mainly about motherhood and mindfulness.
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